No Worry

When I started writing, I simply declared and embraced the idea. Then i realize, i got worried of what to write. When i decided to let go, the story came. In fact, they came so fast and i realized i did not have enough time to write...but still strove to write.

Just Me

I learned to check myself when i start to complain. How has life been lately? I have been so soaked and engaged with so many things and ended up so stressed. When things start to get in the way and i feel like i would start to explode, i stop. I just stop and say to myself..."i don't really have to finish all these outright.

Who is setting the standards? Ako...my own insanity of making things as perfect as I can hahahha...illusion of perfection that led me to my own "death".

I still love this life. I still love what i am doing. I still love to take a thing at a time. I still love me...and what this "me" can do to make things better for others...

hahahha a little of everything...allowing myself to be crazy somethings...freedom...hahahhaha i love this style...

so no complains... love what i am doing...and take my time...and forget about...self imposed pressure of making things perfect...:-) amennnnnnn

My Birthday

I just celebrated my birthday last January 8. I was told some neighbors would come to do the mananita. Unfortunately, there was not any (heheh i thought i would be embarrassed to hear them sing outside of the house but i expected that they would come). But i received a phone call from one of them telling me that the rain held them from pursuing. They did come anyway and brought with them goodies. We had neat breakfast with some kids and my sister's family. heheh grabe ka busy nga morning. They all went home before lunch time and left me alone in my couch dumbfounded. Whaaaaaaaaaat a terribly busy morning but so full of fund heheh...thank you so much Lord. Another year is added hahahah ang tanda na ni lola...

I See Them

I woke up this morning
Misty eyed and blank
Why can man do such a thing?
Does he know that..
Many suffer because of him.

Why oh why?
God sees man's struggle
If such calloused heart continues
Them that suffer
Will have the agony day after day

What can i do?
I feel so helpless with what i see
When my hand starts to write
They are blocked by this man's "might"
I feel so helpless

I see their eyes
I bleed inside
When must suffering end
How can i comfort these souls
I feel that i have not done enough

I thought of parting
I thought of space
I thought i should free my heart
I do suffer...
I feel so pained ...

My hands were wide open
Now...they are still but weary
I want to hold them not the man
I want to hold them in my heart
It hurts so much

If only i have much of those strength
That i could contain them in my heart
Oh my ...oh my...
I know even if i feel God's silence
He has them ...in his unfathomable love.....

Thank you so much my God...

Focus on Serving...Focus on Loving

Before i start up something, i check my motivations. It usually gives me a halt when motivation-wise (hehe if there is such a word) would give me feedback that the focus is self not service. If I could not get the shape of my sincere motive of serving and ultimately, loving...i don't do it. And so waiting comes in.

There are lots of waiting. It is not a waiting for the availability of funds. Though i admit it is one of the major concerns, but, it is the waiting for Dang to shape up. Though i get frustrated at times with myself but not really with Dang. She is such a daring adventure of everything...i am trying to get to know her even more with her thoughts, desires and actions. I always forgive myself and Dang when we both falter and fail, that's why we are both so comfortable with each other (just like the way i befriend Mike).

And so we wait that service and loving be the real motive. we sift, sort, resort...Tedious but we are not giving up...joyful? yes...and hopeful? ......OHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSS!:-0 hahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahah

In Love? yes yes yes ....hahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahaha

My "Beautiful" Project

For almost two weeks now, i started a beautiful project - my t shirt and accessories shop. With my meager budget, two generous carpenters have extended themselves giving cheaper service than the usual (and i gave them free meals,snacks and chikka interviews). The shop is almost done but i could not be totally convinced with making it a clothes shop. And so i prayed for guidance as to what to do with it. With its native and cute look i could make it something perhaps more worthwhile than a clothes shop...

And so while the construction is on going, a friend asked me to do counseling for her son and some people in the company requested for my private counseling service. And so making it a counseling room was the idea that came in. At the moment the idea is still an idea heheheh. Still, i am in the process of beautifying the shop and continuing to envision of something like pushing through with my consultancy, trainings and counseling service.

In prayer, i am like planting the seed for the idea to come to reality...the Joyfully Hopeful shirts will then be promoted during counseling...:-) How is that God huh? hehehehehehhe I simply love the idea...

Wait lang beauty ko sa Boss ko above...:-)

A Surprise Gift

I received a beautiful Christmas card yesterday from Fr. Frank...crafted and designed by himself (super talented...). He calls its "old fashioned" but not for me. I like old ways, traditions, etc. They reminisce beautiful memories. When i was a kid, i made cards too. They were usually projects that my teachers asked us to do to be given to special people in our lives. I usually give them to my parents, brothers, sisters and friends. Since i did not find myself artistic, some of those i made were meant only for submission, grading and kept in my "baul". But those i found attractive, i gave them. But my parents simply accepted them despite the looks and i got the most beautiful smile from them.

Nickey, my pamangkin does it more often to his parents. I appreciated him very much for doing such (though still it is a school project). But the effort of my SD Fr. Frank is something that of an extra mile...He crafted them in his own hands and intentionally give them not because it is a school project....hehehe perhaps i could do the same...hehehe thinking of it...gakalingaw nako ...:-)

This time...the artist in me is slowly waking up...:-)

Thank you Fr. Frank...such a beautiful gift you gave...Merry Christmas...huhuhuhu!